did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
