What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
