nut hugger
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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