So drunk its hurt
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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