Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
