idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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