New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
