I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
