I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
