I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
