Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize