You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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