the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
