Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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