You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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