So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
