Cold hands, warm shart.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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