planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
