so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
