ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
