Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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