i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
