They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize