The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
