He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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