'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize