You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
