Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
