I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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