so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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