To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
