hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
