The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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