He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
