Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Drunk is not a location!
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