i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
