I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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