the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
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