i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
