She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
