what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
