He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
