I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
