He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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