I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
