the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
