he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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