Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
