he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize