I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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