I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
