i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You had me at "let me see your balls"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
