STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
