So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
