How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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