Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
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