Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize